You hear the horrifying groans. Decaying hands scrabble at the door, trying to find a way in. They want to eat you. You sit down on the sofa, kick your feet up and open a can of Spam. No worries. You’re inside a Zombie Fortification Cabin from Tiger Log Cabins. All you have to do now is wait in safety and comfort for the zombie apocalypse to blow over.
The ZFC-1 is a log cabin kit designed with the walking dead in mind. The structure consists of three connected buildings. It comes stocked with reinforced slit windows, walls and doors; a barbed-wire surround; an escape hatch on top; and a living room with Xbox, TV and sound system. It comes with an arsenal storage unit to secure your anti-zombie weaponry. There’s also a toilet system, garage, kitchen area with microwave and an upper deck with a full view all around so you can keep an eye out for the oncoming horde. A garden section means you won’t have to take over an abandoned prison to start a small produce farm.
The $113,000 (£69,995, about AU$129,000) price tag is for the kit only. It will cost you an additional $21,000 to add installation, $3,000 for security cameras and $5,600 for solar panels. Pricing is available on request for adding a water cannon, search lights or flame thrower to the package. There seems to be no option to add on a samurai sword, so you’ll need to provide your own.
One of the cabin’s more notable features is a 10-year anti-zombie guarantee. This may be the most brilliant guarantee ever offered on a structure. If for some reason the cabin doesn’t hold up and a zombie (or 2 or 12) gets inside, chances are the cabin’s owner won’t survive to complain. “Please note — we require medical evidence of the presence of a real zombie should you wish to claim under the 10 year anti zombie guarantee,” Tiger writes.