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G.O.R.E. Score: Dead Snow

Dead Snow (2009)

Dead Snow (2009)

Original Release Date: June 19, 2009 (U.S.A.)
Run time: 90 minutes

When a zombie film is called the “darling” of the increasingly-prestigious Sundance Festival, you know you’ve got a movie on your hands that is at least worth a look-see. Fortunately for those who do seek out the movie in question, “Dead Snow,” there should be something in it for every zombie fan to reward them many times over for finding this film.

“Dead Snow,” or as it’s known in the original Norwegian language in which it was filmed, “Død Snø,” could probably be best defined as an homage to the small genre category of horror comedies, especially those of the days gone by – the ‘80s and ‘90s in particular. Indeed, the characters directly reference such snarky classics as “Evil Dead” and “Braindead” during their conversations with one another. The main characters consist of six college students who travel to a remote cabin in the snowy woods – sound familiar, “Evil Dead” fans? – on their Easter break for some good old-fashioned fun and fornication. Well, technically five college students are the main characters, as one meets her untimely demise at the hands of the zombies as she is going to meet up with the others, before the title of the movie even hits the screen.

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G.O.R.E. Score: Edges of Darkness

Edges of Darkness (2009)

Edges of Darkness (2009)

Original Release Date: September 22, 2009
Run Time: 87 minutes

“Edges of Darkness” is an ambitious tale of a zombie apocalypse. The tale is not as focused on the actual apocalypse or what happens because of the apocalypse, but rather what happens in spite of the apocalypse. This idea for the direction of the movie is what sets this film apart from your average zombie fare. Now, as we all know, when something or someone dares to be different, they are usually met with lots of people who don’t understand, lots of people who don’t approve, and lots of people who simply don’t like it. To those people, I say: your loss is the open-minded fan’s gain, because “Edges of Darkness” is a truly unique film with ideas and sequences you definitely won’t get anywhere else.

Writer/Director Jason Horton gives us an intriguing look at a zombie outbreak, told from the perspectives of three different sets of survivors: a couple in a loveless marriage due to the husband’s odd obsession with writing stories on his computer, a zombie-ass-kicking girl who finds out she may have agreed to protect the wrong little boy, and a couple who find themselves in a rather unique predicament now that the undead have taken over the world.

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G.O.R.E. Score: Undead or Alive

Undead or Alive (2007)

Undead or Alive (2007)

Original Release Date: March 15, 2007
Run Time: 91 minutes

It’s clear that the folks who made “Undead or Alive” knew that their movie wasn’t going to win any major awards, and they seem to have made their movie while keeping that knowledge in mind. This is probably one of the best things that could have happened to this film, because the result is the cast and crew having a good time, seeming to enjoy the experience, and putting out a quirky little movie that is pretty fun to watch.

As far as “B-level,” straight-to-video zombie movies go, this one is actually on the higher end in terms of production value and name recognition. Starring James Denton (most famously known for his current stint on the TV show “Desperate Housewives”) and “Saturday Night Live” alum Chris Kattan, “Undead or Alive” tells the story of two cowboys as they meet by accident, form an unlikely alliance, and team up with a descendant of Native American leader Geronimo to avoid the ever-growing zombie menace in the Old West.

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G.O.R.E. Score: Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament

Breathers (2009)

Breathers (2009)

Original Release Date: March 3, 2009
Publisher: Broadway Books

 Okay, truth time: I had been seeing “Breathers” in the bookstore for a long time before I finally broke down and bought it a few months back. The reason I waited so long to buy it: the cover. As you can see, the cover looks like your fairly typical kitschy romance novel, with the exception of zombies kissing instead of regular humans.

Now, if you’re like me, at first glance this cover probably makes your brow furrow in confusion. What kind of book is this, exactly? Is it making fun of zombies? Is it some disgusting attempt at an actual zombie romance novel? You’re not quite sure exactly what may be contained inside, and quite frankly, I was a little scared to open it up and find out. When I finally did, I was relieved and excited to find such a highly entertaining and unique story that really went far above and beyond my expectations.

S.G. Browne’s original novel, his first book, centers around Andy, a zombie living in a world where only select dead reanimate.

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G.O.R.E. Score: The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

The Incredibly Strange Creautres Who Stopped Living and Became Mized-Up Zombies (1964)

The Incredibly Strange Creautres Who Stopped Living and Became Mized-Up Zombies (1964)


Original Release Date: March 1, 1964
Run Time: 82 minutes

Sometimes you just see a title and know that, for reasons good or bad, you simply HAVE to watch a film.

That was me with “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.”

Sometimes you watch a movie and know that, for reasons good or bad, you will NEVER forget the film.

That was, unfortunately, also me, after having watched “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.”

This film is on a close par with “Plan Nine from Outer Space” as prime examples of everything that is wrong with how to make a movie. What makes “Plan Nine” different from “TISCWSLaBM-UZ” (what an acronym that is) is that it feels like much of the cast and crew of “Plan Nine” knew the movie was going to be a hot mess, so you get really tepid performances to go along with the terrible plot and effects. In “TISCWSLaBM-UZ,” you get the sense that everyone involved on the project sincerely feels like the movie could be something big for them, and as a result they are trying really hard to give you their best efforts; this makes watching the film feel all the more sad, because everyone fails so miserably. So, so miserably.

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G.O.R.E. Score: The Great Alaskan Adventure…with Zombies!

 

The Great Alaskan Adventure...with Zombies! (2010)

The Great Alaskan Adventure...with Zombies! (2010)

Original Release Date: March 2, 2010
Publisher: Independent by the Author (via CreateSpace)

From a very early age, we’ve all been given very pre-conceived notions about how certain things are “supposed” to be. When we are presented with an item that doesn’t fall neatly into these pre-set ideas, many of us react in a variety of ways. As a few examples:

• Meat Loaf is a musician whose biggest claim to fame is a three-album trilogy called “Bat out of Hell,” which consisted of albums comprised of rock anthem and ballad songs six-to-ten-minutes apiece in length, and the three discs were released over a 20-year span (1978, 1993, and 2006). To many people, Meat Loaf is a musical genius and his songs are amazing pieces of artwork; to others, his music is just “weird,” too long to listen to continuously, and not enjoyable as anything other than a novelty act.
• “2001: A Space Odyssey” is not your typical movie with a linear storyline and a traditional beginning-middle-ending path, and many people have different ideas about the film; some praise it for its uniqueness and truly enjoy the way it makes the viewer think “outside the box,” and many people dislike it, finding it too different than the movies they are used to watching and as a result see it as boring, confusing, or just downright not enjoyable.

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G.O.R.E. Score: The X-Files: Folie a Deux

The X-Files, Season 5 (1998)

The X-Files, Season 5 (1998)

Original Air Date: May 10, 1998
Run Time: 42 minutes

Even though I didn’t watch the show religiously, as a self-proclaimed sci-fi geek the “The X-Files” will always hold a special place in my heart. The series almost single-handedly brought science fiction back into prominence on national television in the 1990s; its unique blend of focus on conspiracy theories, unexplained phenomena, and the possible supernatural/extra-terrestrial aspects of religion and spirituality really allowed the show to appeal to a very wide fan base.

In Season 5, the series released one of its “Monster of the Week” episodes that heavily featured our favorite creature, the zombie. In the episode “Folie a Deux,” a man who works at a telemarketing company believes his boss to be an evil creature who is slowly changing his co-workers into mindless zombies by killing and immediately re-animating them to do his bidding. As shown on the episode, the creature’s bidding seemed to revolve mostly around being a more effective telemarketer, with some minor “henchman” type work thrown in for good measure. According to the one employee who can see the creature for what he really is, the monster “hides in the light,” as do the zombies, so the creatures all appear as normal humans in the light but can be glimpsed (by certain people) in their true forms in darkness. Naturally, the X-File division of the FBI is called in to investigate, and enough oddities and inconsistencies occur that Agents Mulder and Scully, the stars of the show and head X-File FBI agents, investigate things further.