Zombie Strippers (2008)

Original Release Date: April 18, 2008
Run Time: 94 minutes

Why, “Zombie Strippers,” why?

I wanted to like you so badly. I wanted to revel in your kitsch. I wanted to enjoy the fact that you knew you were a “B” movie, and you weren’t going to try and be anything more than that – a fun, self-referential, tongue-in-cheek, yes-we’re-ridiculous-and-we-know-it kind of film.

Then you had to go and mess it up by trying way too hard to be an actual movie.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the kitsch factor is definitely there – heck, when your “name” stars are porn-star-turned-writer-turned-“serious” actress Jenna Jameson and “Freddy, King of All Kitsch” Robert Englund, you know the odds are good for some serious fun and seriously funny scenes. And believe me, those scenes were there – while Jenna was a bit lacking in her thespian abilities, Englund stole the show in just about every scene he in (as you would expect him to) as germophobe strip club owner Ian Essko. Sadly, these scenes that made me laugh out loud were few and too far between – as I mentioned, for some reason the makers of this movie decided to leave fun-movie-land and try to make some of their scenes seem like “serious” cinema, which was a “serious” mistake.